tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78241918724505540132023-11-15T05:19:49.837-08:00Round The Corner (in Oz)Here to share with you my ideas and inspiration for living an authentic life of love, peace and happiness. Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-71968808660770046472014-05-28T19:50:00.000-07:002014-06-16T19:02:57.736-07:00Ocea's Arrival Earthside – A Free(ing)-Birth<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<i>A dream begins it all…</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re in labour, it’s time…” spoke a voice in my dream, so
clear, so sure.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I lay in the black of night, rhythmic breathing to either side
of me, so relaxed: half-way between dreams and consciousness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Nope, it can’t be time…” I answered in my mind to the voice
of my friend. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But, wait, what was that feeling…in my lower abdomen? That
familiar tightening. I remember this – from just over 4 years ago, with the
first baby.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The pressure waves felt different to the ‘practice’ Braxton-Hicks
waves I’d experienced for the last few weeks – firmer, like they were actually
doing something inside me as well as in my stomach muscles. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I swung myself (slowly) out of bed and walked around dazed
and sleepy for a while. I checked the time – 1.40 am. The waves kept washing
over me. No pattern. No timing. I just rode them. Not long after I thought I
should probably wake my husband, Ryan. I remained indecisive, until after I
told him. Was still questioning, still thinking perhaps they will go away (like
before)? I wandered into the living room, sat on the birth ball and swayed my
hips, while Ryan hesitated.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When he did appear, I’d become more decisive and began
ordering him around. He began his jobs with the aura of a person unsure if any
of his work will really be needed. I questioned whether to begin the rigmarole
of heating the birth pool yet (it would take time – living in the bush and only
having access to hot water bucketed in from another home). It could be ages
before I felt the urge to get in, but then again it could be 5 minutes. I
certainly didn’t feel like relaxing in a hot pool just yet! I continued
swaying, hip rocking and circling, dancing and pacing around. My mind and body
felt so relaxed and ready. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Only the day before I had enjoyed an amazing four person
all-over body massage and the luxury of a (cold) ‘Jacuzzi’ from the nearby
creek – not knowing just several hours later I would begin my birthing journey.
I was so grateful to the women who had organised the mother blessing and helped
me to relax that day and I remember thinking, if baby wants to come anytime now
I am ready. She must have heard me…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back in my body, where I remained for the rest of this
journey, I began to feel the pace quicken – each opening wave felt more
productive. My body moved with them – bending forward over furniture, squatting
sometimes, swaying in time to some internal birthing song – which I voiced for
a time…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>‘I am the blood of the
earth, <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I am the flow of the
spirit, <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I am the womb of
creation…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>My body is the
universe.’</i> <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These words never were so true! I felt ecstatic for having
this song to express my feelings so eloquently.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>A grounding mantra…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not long after this I began to really love the simple act of
breathing, deep and long. The sound it made grounded me in the moment. Soon,
the word ‘open’ took my attention and continued to do so for quite some time. I
loved the feeling of saying it, like a deep moaning mantra. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The sky began its transition to indigo and the thought that
I wanted my support person, Rose, popped into my mind. She arrived from the
moonlight, eyes bright, excited for the wondrous event to come. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ryan busied himself with the birth pool while Rose and I
rode the waves together. Quietly, she drew my portrait, took photos and filmed
me without me really noticing any of it. We chatted about our feelings right
then and my bodily sensations. The sky continued to lighten.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Things heat up…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We tried in vain to get hold of friends and family in the UK
as I’d finally come to the conclusion the pressure waves weren’t going to
fizzle out. Rose slipped my birthing necklace over my head and, reverently, we
cut our red threads, with me secretly hoping the other women I love were doing
the same at the other side of the world. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Suddenly I felt the urge to feel wetness on my skin, so I
got in the birth pool before it was ready. Beautiful – enveloping me with
another all-over body massage. Ryan continued to bucket hot water in beside me
and I slowly felt the pool heat up – along with the opening sensations. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p>The splash every time he poured another bucket in made such
a resounding noise in the still of pre-dawn I was sure it would waken daughter
number 1, lying only metres away in our family bed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fingers of weak sunlight poked through the dusky windows and
not long after Nabeela did begin to stir. In my relaxed moments I almost shook
her awake myself to tell her the exciting news! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another expansion wave rolled through me and I relaxed into
the warm water. I didn’t feel like dancing anymore.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The funny bit… <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nabeela’s eyelids flickered and Rose quietly whispered to her
that the baby was coming. She looked through bleary eyes at the scene – candles
flickering all around, Rose and Ryan sitting around the pool, me propped up
inside – and Rose’s words finally clicked into place. Her face transformed,
suddenly shining like the sun brightening a new day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eagerly she whipped off her pyjamas and jumped in with me.
She studied my face carefully as I eased myself into another opening wave. Even
with my eyes closed I could feel her curiosity. When my mind came back to the
outside world I watched her splashing around. She kept surreptitiously trying
to see under the water, between my legs – and at once I knew why – she thought
the baby was coming – right that instant! I mentioned it to the others and
laughter rippled through the peaceful space we had created – it sounded so
right.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A bright idea popped into Nabeela’s head, “Can I have the
snorkel and mask?” she asked. Wearing it, Nabeela began her fruitless effort to
snorkel for babies! I explained to her that baby wasn’t coming quite yet – my
body was still opening. She nodded seriously, looked me in the eyes and then
continued to splash around – if it wasn’t happening yet she would make the most
of the giant bath! I chuckled to myself. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Needing peace… </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i> </i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It wasn’t long before a change took place inside me – I
began to feel irritated and over-whelmed by the people in the room (even though
there were only 3!), the water felt too hot, I couldn’t get comfortable no
matter what position I was in. I tried to relax and centre myself using the
hypnosis techniques I’d learnt during pregnancy, but the energy of my expansion
waves were more than I could cope with in the current situation. I held myself
in check enough to ask nicely, ‘Why don’t you go get breakfast?’ Ryan
understood and they all left quickly.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With my birthing day hypnosis track playing, I lay in bed on
my side, a leg perched on a huge pile of cushions – so I could feel ‘open’.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I relaxed into the hypnosis. It allowed me to feel into the
sensations. When they intensified I relaxed further into them – surrendering
completely to what my body needed to do. It felt good and difficult at the same
time. I groaned, long and loud “Ooooopen!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
An indeterminate amount of time later Ryan, Nabeela and Rose
arrived back – I sighed with relief as only moments before it had come to me
that if they didn’t come now they might miss it!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Deeply relaxed bodily, my mind began to shout at me, “Get
up! Things are changing and this doesn’t feel right anymore!” I needed to be
upright and in the water. I groaned to Ryan, just about managing to say his
name, rather than incomprehensible grunts. He appeared instantly with a
question on his lips. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I answered, “Get me up – Ooooopen” – moaning through another
wave – this one a titan. I was riding in the sky above everything.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hobbled up with Ryan’s assistance. It felt horrible as all
I needed then was weightlessness. I hung off him for a couple of pressure waves
between walking to the pool, shouting ‘open’ unreservedly and groaning
beautifully. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Somehow I was in the water and, oh, it felt right. Ryan got
in with me and I had a vague awareness of Nabeela saying something about
telling my friend (and a spiritual midwife) the baby was coming. I doubt I
acknowledged her.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Transformation… <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I felt restless and overwhelmed. I couldn’t find a position
that felt right and I struggled through some more waves feeling uncomfortable
and telling Ryan it was too hard. I lay on my back for one pressure wave and it
felt so wrong I shouted “No!” Ryan
helped me move with urgency, as the waves were coming one on top of another
now. A forward reclining position and leaning against the side of the pool
seemed to be where I needed to be, so I went with that, but something still didn’t
feel quite right. I settled into the pressure waves more easily. The
overwhelming feeling subsided although the intensity, the energy of the waves
was still high. I felt like a conduit for a bolt of lightning, ripping through
my body from head to womb. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I felt the urge to
check myself, to see where my body was at. This was unplanned. I’d always
wanted to let the journey unfold with no interference, to trust my body, but in
that moment it was a compulsion and I went with it. I wasn’t fully dilated, but
that didn’t matter – getting to feel my body that was what was important: the
soft, smooth tissue of my cervix, the yielding of the water bag, thick and
slippery and the baby’s head! I pressed gently on my waters and beneath felt the
hardness of a head. Oh, yes that was what this journey was all about – I’d
almost forgotten.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The penultimate moment…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I needed to fine-tune my position, as it didn’t feel quite
right yet. Ryan helped me to shuffle my feet further apart into a semi-squat,
whilst still in the water, reclining forward. This was finally right! I was in
my birth position and I felt enormous relief as my body settled there for the
final part of the birthing journey. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Perhaps minutes (or maybe seconds) later an almighty wave –
beginning at my head and pulsating down my body – convulsed through me. It
shook a deep, primal groan from me. I felt a pop and release. “The waters
broke,” I cried. I felt between my legs again and knew she was close. I could
feel that the birth tunnel now held a baby and in a moment the baby would be in
my arms. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sure enough, another pulsing wave shuddered through me and I
groaned again, without restraint. The baby’s head popped into my waiting hand.
There was an eternal moment here where Ryan and I held this almost born child –
hovering between two worlds – we gasped in awe. “The head,” I remember
breathing in the stillness. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The moment did end, in the excitement of another wave. The
baby’s head was born. Ryan held it tenderly, waiting. Another titanic
convulsion shook my body and I felt the slippery release of the baby’s body. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The release of one world
and the grasp of a new one…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I gasped as the intensity of the waves abruptly ended. In
the quiet of new life I asked a (slightly silly) question – “Is the baby out?”
Yes, yes she was!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I heard Rose utter that the baby was a girl. With that
surprising news I propelled my body around. Her cord appeared quite short however,
so I stopped half-way. Ryan picked her up from the weightlessness of the water
and realised the cord was wrapped reasonably tight around her neck, hence the
short cord. His urgent hands untangled her and helped disentangle my legs too.
In another movement I was around the other way and this new tiny being was free
to breathe her first breaths in my arms.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Her first squelchy sounding breaths apparently urged me to
get out from the water, as I found myself standing up. I must have intuitively
known the mucus needed to come out and she was too slippery in the water to do
it safely (in my eyes). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The unexpected movement upwards forced some cries from her,
but we were quickly in bed surrounded by the rest of the family with Rose above
taking photos. After Ryan sucked the mucus from her mouth and nose, she quickly
settled on the soft pillow of my belly and we left her to crawl up to my
breast. She latched on, but it felt uncomfortable, so I hoisted her to my side.
We both lay tummy to tummy for her first precious milky connection with me. She
looked into my eyes, causing my heart to engulf my chest, choking me with the
awesomeness of her. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The placenta came around half an hour later – one wave and I
felt the blobby, squelchy mass slither out. It forced another relieved groan
from me. We didn’t cut the cord as we planned on a lotus birth, so we plopped
the placenta into a bowl beside us (she didn’t end up having a lotus birth as
things didn’t go according to plan here! The humidity and heat meant the
placenta degenerated very quickly and after 1 day was already very smelly. We
decided to cut the cord after much agonising thought. It seemed like the right
thing to do and Ocea settled down comfortably afterwards.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The birthing journey
was over and another journey was beginning – I stared into this new child’s
eyes as we lay touching and she learned about this new world we shared. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She was here! Born one day before her ‘official’ due date at
around 9am, after a 7.5 hour ‘labour’. We spent long moments staring into her
eyes – drinking her in, grinning at her lucidity and softening with her peace.
We had no name for her yet as her sex had been a surprise (I’d convinced myself
early on in the pregnancy she was a ‘he’ and we had called her ‘he’ from the
beginning). It didn’t matter. We would find a name that fit her. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>An explanation…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the hours that followed Ryan explained something to me that gave me the reason
for the intensity of my pressure waves and the urge to find that perfect
position. Ocea was born brow first and facing the same way as me (unlike most
babies who are born facing mother’s bottom). He had got quite a shock on feeling her face with his fingers as she emerged!<br />
<br />
I felt relief on hearing this as
the intensity almost defeated me during that difficult transitional period just
before she was born. I felt that my body almost couldn’t handle the energy
coursing through it. But it could, and it did and although I didn’t quite get
the completely peaceful, relaxed birth I’d worked towards, this birth was
perfect the way it went. It taught me so much and has given me complete trust
in my intuition – without that her birth could have ended very differently. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The entire journey, from conception to birth tried to teach
me surrender and how to let go of control. I may not have learned these lessons
fully, but it has certainly got me well on the way. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will always look back on the birth of Ocea Storm with awe
and confidence. The energy I contained in my body during her birthing is
testament to the power women are given and can hold within them during birth. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The first few weeks…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The lucidity and peace of my soul during the first days of
Ocea’s life earthside had me walking tall and feeling as strong as a herd of
horses. This feeling still remains within my core – It colours each day and has
increased my confidence in all aspects of my life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My body feels different –just two weeks after birthing it
was almost back to its pre-pregnancy state, my lochia stopped at 3 weeks and
was much lighter than my first birthing, my vulva and vagina feel and look
normal, with no pain. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The haze and tiredness I lived in after my first birthing
journey couldn’t be more opposing to the freeing birth I had the second time.
Instead I felt grounded, my energy levels soared and I felt happy. I’ve been
able and willing, this time, to honour my need to be alone with my immediate
family, staying close to home and enjoying each new day and the changes they
bring to the entire family, particularly the newest being – Ocea. <br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ocea shows such life too. In those first days she drank in
her surroundings and her new experiences with the thirst of a camel. No one who
looked into her ocean deep eyes could tear themselves away from her soulful
magnetism. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-style: italic;">Healing old wounds…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Her peace pervaded us all, including her older sister who seemed to
heal from her own birth. She hasn’t asked us about her hospital birth since
Ocea was born, when previously she would often ask me about it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have all healed from Nabeela’s birth. Although not
traumatic in the everyday sense, Ryan and I held within her birth space, fear
and tension and a need to protect ourselves and Nabeela from the strangers who
were supposed to be supporting us. This all accumulated into a psychologically
traumatic event, presumably for all three of us, which we failed to acknowledge
properly until we experienced what a truly peaceful and loving birth can be. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Gratitude...</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am truly grateful that we got to experience a birth like
that as a family, together. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Thank you to all the women who reinforced my belief in
freebirthing – the writers and the friends.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you Nabeela – you set us on
this path when you chose to come into our lives. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you Ocea – you gave us
all the experience, you gave us the bliss of the gentle way to birth and be
born. <o:p></o:p></div>
Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-54462950419457262842013-07-01T20:57:00.002-07:002013-07-01T20:57:31.181-07:00MothThis flowed out of me one day after the first Women's Circle I shared with some beautiful women. It tries (!) to capture some of the atmosphere and energy of that special night, under a blanket of stars, with an orange glow fluttering on our cheeks from an open fire...<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Fingers tingling</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">like moths fluttering.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Heart beating</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">a drum solo.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Smile spreading </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">across my heart.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Positive energy</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">rolling over me</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">in waves.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Others enter</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">my energy space</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">physically and mentally.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I still feel that </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">energy</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">buzzing </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">like a moth</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">trapped between </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">palms,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">desperate</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">to stretch its wings;</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">take flight.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We sit</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">hypnotised</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">centred</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">earthed</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">by fire.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And this magic,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">this energy</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">created,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">begins.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It pulses </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">person to person.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Zaps, sparks.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Eyes widen</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lips upwards curve.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This energy</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">rippling back</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">to me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It plays in the circle.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Darting from one</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">person,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">twirling to another.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Its translated</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">in many ways – </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">reflection,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">enthusiasm</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">laughter,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">ideas expressed,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">stories</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">movement.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It ends</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">physically,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">energetically</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">it’s still here.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Spread out</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">between </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">spirits.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A warm ember;</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">like the quieting</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">fire.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Burning orange in our </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">hearts.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Take it home.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Feel its comfort.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To tame,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">like a moth,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">between warm </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">palms.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Keep its vibration </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">with you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bring it back</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">on another moon;</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">in another circle,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">to take flight </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">once more. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-45924470734644739412013-04-09T21:26:00.000-07:002013-04-09T21:26:45.784-07:00A journey of mother and child<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Without going into too much detail, the relationship between me and my daughter and breastfeeding has become quite confused, strained and emotional, I wrote this a while ago to reflect my personal feelings on this relationship, which is slowly, very slowly morphing into something else. It is about how I feel about breastfeeding a child, and the journey I am going through that has led me here, with her. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Breastfeeding is comfort.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Babies,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">children </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">cannot gain comfort from something
inert,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">plastic.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Your body,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">breast,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">beating heart</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">is the physical reality of </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">your comfort and love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Your child goes to this when they need
it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">f they are fearful,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">angry,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">sad,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">confused - </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">It is their safe place.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Breastfeeding is nourishment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">It is the food they were meant to
consume.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Taken in the way they were meant to
consume it - </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">from a warm, soft breast,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">alive.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Nothing can compare.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Nothing else can change day to day, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">hour by hour, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">minute by minute.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Perfect for that one child – </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Because each one is different,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">needs different things,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">grows different,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">lives different,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">l</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">oves different.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Breastfeeding is energy,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">from its nourishment,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">physical or mental.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Breastfeeding is growth,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">As your milk provides</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">your child grows -</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">in body</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">in mind</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">in spirit.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">So too do </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">This journey,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">shared with your child.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">You grow as they do,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">maybe not physically,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">but in mind,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">i</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">n spirit. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Breastfeeding is many things,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">a combination</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">of the physical and soulful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Intertwined,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">impossible to tear apart.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Hard to let go of.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">For child</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">For you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">When it ends,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">this relationship</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">means growth,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">a new chapter</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">in your relationship</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">with your child. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">A closed door </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">leading to a new door.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Opening with light and love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">A new way of interacting,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">more mature</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">less needful,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">physically,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">on both sides.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Open</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">ready to let others in.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">To expand that circle of love</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">which for so long only included two
people</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">mother and child. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Over the years it has expanded</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">allowed others in to feel the light
shining from both of you,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">but once this new door opens</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">it is finally ready to let others in</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">
forever.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">No longer needing only mothers love and
comfort </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">t</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">o soothe.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Accepting of others love also. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Memories are looked back on with
fondness,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">a quiet ache in your chest -</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">remembering the cocoon </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">you created with your child. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But ready now to open yourself again,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">with your child at your side,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">rather than in your arms.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Ready to open and accept <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">everyone!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-78238935884542271252013-03-14T03:20:00.001-07:002013-03-14T03:20:57.232-07:00I Create, You Create
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wrote this to get my feelings out of my head (it’s like a
therapy for me). After being hurt by veiled comments about the way I live my
life I needed to take time out to assess it all. Do I really care what people
think? I suppose in some ways I do, because we are all part of this web of
connection and this negativity towards me taints my inner being. I wanted to
talk through why I live the way I do, maybe it will provide understanding
(equally maybe it won’t) but after writing it out I now feel truly grateful for
people who think this way: it has helped me realise why I do it and made me
stronger in my conviction to do so!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thank you for all those people who believe I am lazy and don’t
contribute to society: here’s my voice amongst the masses…</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This life</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I created.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Everything I do,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I created – </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">with my thoughts</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">my actions (right or wrong)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">my beliefs</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">my steps</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">forward (and back).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Each decision I made,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">each step I took along this</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">dirt path – I created.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I chose</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">with awareness (sometimes without) – </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">my happiness;</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">the family I wanted</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(who love and cherish and share with me);</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">the daily rhythm of my life</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(the quietness, the spaces between, the fullness.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Too, I created</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">stresses in my life</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">the anger and suffering</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">even the pain (physical and mental).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s a choice.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">All of it - </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">how I live,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">what I do with</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">my body</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">my mind – </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I chose it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m proud of these choices. Happy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(And also </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">utterly grateful </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I get so <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">many</i>
choices.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Because </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I chose it all knowingly (sometimes not).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I created –</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">the peace I live</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">the way I love </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">the efficiency of doing just enough – </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">no excesses.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">the rhythm of my family life –</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">space to breath, time to be, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">very little rushrushrush.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That doesn’t make me any</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">less</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">because I opted out of a </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">traditional lifestyle.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Making money isn’t everything </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I choose to make other things,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">love</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">peace</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">happiness</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">with creativity, empathy, joy,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">to help others as well as myself,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">to help the earth beneath my feet,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">to help the air I breath.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Contributing To Society’ – </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What does that mean?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Making money?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To spend</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">to help rich people get richer?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">to boost the ‘economy’</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(what’s that? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A thought, in some strangers’ minds.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It isn’t real!) </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I prefer to contribute to humanity </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(not this so called society people talk of)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">By sharing – </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">ideas</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">love</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">healing</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">By helping out when I can (or even when I ‘cannot’)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">By helping the planet we </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">ALL </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">live on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">These are real things – </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">tangible, touchable, tasteable</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(not thoughts in </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">other peoples' heads).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">’m creating this life – </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">it’s not perfect</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I still create stress and suffering.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m not perfect</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(far from it)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But with awareness I can</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">slowly</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">create a more fulfilling life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Helping others in small ways</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">or big ways</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">little step by little step – </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ll get there.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So maybe my ideas</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">and your ideas</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">don’t meet </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(or even cross)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Maybe we don’t tread the same path</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(mine’s dirt </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">yours is tarmac!) </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But I’ll continue to live</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">this life I created</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Just as you will live yours</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">and maybe, one day, you will understand and accept</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">my choices, just as</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I accept you. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Namaste.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-11734676575003562792013-02-27T00:17:00.001-08:002013-02-27T00:17:26.754-08:00Dance Inside You<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">People say</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Dance like no one’s watching.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Have you?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">(Really?)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Do it with me now</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">inside your imagination</span><br />
(or for real)<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">thump </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">thump </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">t</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">hump </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">of the beat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The melody</span><br />
like a wave<br />
rising and falling<br />
pulling you along.<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">the instrument </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">of a strangers voice</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">and words</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">translated into </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">movement</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">feelings.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Eyes closed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Listening with your </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">light</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">(not your ears).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Arms wild twirling</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Feet drum jumping</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Hips shake circling</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Head up swirling</span><br />
<br />
No time to think</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">No time to care</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">No time to wonder</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Just do</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Just be</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">in the beat</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">In its beauty</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">In its feeling</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">In its perplexity </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">In its vitality. </span><br />
.<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Skip a beat circle around</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">flying arms in the air</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">t</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">wirl and whirl</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">sink to the earth</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">sing smile laugh.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Be still.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Feel your </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">beat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Feel your </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">breath </span><br />
like a wave.<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Feel your heart</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">pumping</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">j</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">umping</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">thud</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">thud </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">thud.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Feel your skin</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">tingling</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">vibrating</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">pulsing.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">You are the beat</span><br />
t<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">he rhythm</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">the song</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">creating energy </span><br />
that radiates <br />
outwards<br />
to all.<br />
<br /></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Now I feel</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">ALIVE!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">(Do you?)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-27740088788127660892013-02-19T16:54:00.000-08:002013-02-19T16:54:00.356-08:00She Plays
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">A house made of blocks.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Here’s the living room, eating room,
sleeping room.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">A chair in here holds a cow and a </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">triceratops.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">All is hushed,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">friendly,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">gentle.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Dinosaurs rub shoulders with massive
coiled snakes and farm animals,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">bigger than they are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Soft words tell them their story.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">A giant purple wooden TV</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">precariously balanced.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">All the animals facing it</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Silent</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Expectant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Her face brimful of joy,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Shining a yellow light </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">over her pretend world.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Innocence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Her quiet smile: c</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">hildhood </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">wrapped in a curve.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Get up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Little legs</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">run.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Dragging a toy dog</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">by the ear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p>T</o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">he animals sit</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">silent,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">w</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">aiting for the next </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">story. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-58181395852737975002013-02-11T22:12:00.000-08:002013-02-11T22:12:46.089-08:00Eyes Open
Really I wrote this for myself. For those moments, hours, days, weeks I live in a haze of thoughts - eyes shut. Maybe you aren't ready yet: I wasn't for many years. But I'm getting there now. And perhaps the same will happen for you too...<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span></b> </div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">After all I know and believe about life,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Living it,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Being here,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">In the now moment,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Not reminiscing about past moments,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Not dwelling on ‘what ifs’,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">It really isn’t so easy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Trying to change a life,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Many thousands of moments,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Of not living in the present. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Forever worrying about,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Past and future.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Feeling cut off,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">From what’s happening at the time.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Floating like a kite on the breeze,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Tenuously linked to now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The string snapping,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Flying away,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">To whizz around in unreality.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I know how much suffering this brings,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">To me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">To all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">And yet,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I haven’t yet let it go.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I’ve spent most of this life,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Feeling like that kite. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Flapping in the wind.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Protected from emotions,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Of my own and others.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Protected from the now moment.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Protected by a fog;</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">A cotton wool cloud of numbness.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Knowing a real life was possible,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">On the edge of my senses. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Half heard,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Half felt,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Half tasted,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Half seen,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But never fully there. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Never fully feeling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Even birthing a child,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">So precious.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Spent,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Eyes shut,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Breathing drugs to numb.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Looking back,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">It’s like looking at someone else,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">A blurred film reel.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">My beginning so numb,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Lacklustre.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Not wishing to see what was really
there,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Feel what was really there,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Hear, taste, love.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Grateful to friends and family,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">For sticking by me, despite,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The walls,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The coldness,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The anger,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Simmering.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">And yet,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">So many never come out of this.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Entire lives and deaths spent never
fully feeling.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Cut off from presence,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Constantly hiding from it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Numbing themselves,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">With external chemicals,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Drink, drugs, food, cigarettes, TV… </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">You name something.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Clinging onto the external.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Or, hiding from the present,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">By living in the past,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Or longing for a future,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">That never comes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">How can it come?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">All that is, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this</i>
moment.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Anything else,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Created by mind,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">By thought.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Yes, plan for things,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But see the difference between,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Setting a goal and continuing in the
now,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">And wishing for ‘it’ to come,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Hoping, ‘if only’.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Life is here.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">It’s now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Anything else is your minds
construction,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Imagination. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Make it real.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Be here,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Enjoy it all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Feel,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The wind against your skin.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Watch,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">It tickle your arm hair.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Hear,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Its soft hustle as it continues on its
journey.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Feel,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The lick of the sun as it shines.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Watch,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Its speckled light dance with the
leaves.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Hear,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The sweet tune of a bird enjoying
daylight.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Be here,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Not in your head.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Forget,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">What, why, when, how, who,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Planning,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Worrying.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">STOP.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Breathe. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Feel it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">In…out</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">In…out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Come back to this moment. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Thoughts will wander. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Let them, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Don’t follow them. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Thoughts aren’t you. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Thoughts aren’t your life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">This is. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Now is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Right here… <o:p></o:p></span><br />
Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-62313261584686862642013-02-05T02:57:00.001-08:002013-02-05T02:57:26.938-08:00Who Am I?<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Thinking about what I’ve been described
as,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">passionate caring</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">beautiful ugly</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">mothering selfish</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">different boring</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">conscientious silly</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">stupid intelligent</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">shy loud</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">caring nasty</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">womanly manly<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">All these faces of me</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I’ve been called.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Called myself them</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Believed them</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Not believed them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But, am I really these things?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Are you? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Are we?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Strip it back</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">To the bare bones</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">To the real me,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Am I any of these things?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Am I all of them?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Is that even possible?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">These things are not me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">They are descriptions of a moment</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Fleeting and gone</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">To be replaced.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I can be them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Sometimes I feel any of them</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">All of them</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">None of them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But, they are not me. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">So what is ‘me’?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Am I woman?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Am I human?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Is it that simple?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">That complicated?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">They are just descriptions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Too much and too little.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I am fluid.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Changing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Different each passing moment.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">A spark, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">A flame</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">From an everlasting fire.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Are we different?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">We all want happiness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">After all our,</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">likes dislikes</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">actions inactions</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">faces</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Are we different?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Strip it back</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">To the bare bones</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">To the real us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Really we are a spark</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">From the same fire. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I am you</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">You are me.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I am everything</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">You are everything.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I am nothing</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">You are nothing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I am love</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">You are love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I am now</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">You are now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">We are<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-44837510615599406722013-01-28T14:14:00.000-08:002013-01-28T14:14:50.930-08:00New LifeCongratulations old friends... and new! This piece was written to honour a new life created and born earthside recently. I love you.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><strong>New Life</strong></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">What an honour,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">To be part of a birth,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Happening at the other side of the
world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I was right there,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Awake,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">In my dreams.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I witnessed a woman experiencing the
primal rite,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Birth.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I saw the power of nature,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Of </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">love,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">On her face,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">In her movements.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Saw the letting go of all the
negativity,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Told to so many women.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Saw the joy in her heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I wished I could be there,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">To guide her through,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Hold her hand,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Do something physical.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But I did something else instead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I spoke to her soul,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Light to light.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">A connection spanning half the physical
world,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Like a knot of rope.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">So strong.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Now I feel this connection,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">This binding,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">This love,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Of a new Spirit.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">A child conceived in love,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Born in love,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Raised in love.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I see you little one.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Namaste<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-55651513731234548692013-01-22T17:08:00.002-08:002013-01-22T17:08:43.051-08:00I'm still here!
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s about time I did something about this blog. It started
out as a diary about my experiences and thoughts moving to another country and
was mainly for my family and friends back home. But now things have moved on
and changed, as they do, and I don’t feel like this is appropriate any more. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want to open it up to others. I want it to be about my
thoughts and feelings. Things I’m learning about life in general; spirituality,
love, people, children, emotions, living. I want to voice the feelings I have
spent most of my life ignoring or suppressing. I want to provide positive words
in a world full of negativity. I want to reach out and touch my fellow humans,
because at the end of the day, we are all connected; from the same spark. We
all want the same thing: happiness. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So I’m going to go with a change of direction. I’m going to
write down spur of the moment things. Things I’ve written because I was
compelled to from something deep inside me. Stuff I’ve not thought about, just
written, blam, onto the page. Like I am doing now. Maybe it will have a ring of
poetry to it. Maybe it won’t. Maybe it will sound incomprehensible to most
people, but if I touch one person with my words that will be enough. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Connect with me, comment, tell me what you feel. Feelings
are more important than what you think. So comment with your feelings, images
that spring to mind when you read my stuff. Forget the melodrama, the over
analysing, mind that dwells on the past, never lives in the now and yearns for
a future that never comes. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Be with me while you’re reading. Somewhere, I read someone
who likened writing to telepathy and time travel. Think about it. Isn’t it? I
wrote this sometime in the past for you, who is reading it now and yet we share
this deep connection. You are reading my thoughts, my inner feelings and ideas!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Peace and love to all,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Namaste<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-53043111257517486352012-03-23T22:21:00.000-07:002012-03-23T22:21:25.204-07:00Yoga, straw-bales, pain and growth...<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have come to realise recently (although it has crept up on me gradually) that I have been aware of health and its importance for a number of years, but have never thoroughly attempted to be healthy in both body and soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We eat very well and after trying several diets and food omissions I think we have finally settled on a diet that keeps us feeling healthy, nourished and vibrant. We don’t put synthetic chemicals into or onto our bodies or around our home. </span></span></div><div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><br />
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<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">But</span></b><span lang="EN-GB"> I still don’t exercise sufficiently and I still have woefully inadequate methods to dealing with stress, and- let’s face it- loving myself. </span></span></div><div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><br />
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<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">So</span></b><span lang="EN-GB">, I have taken up yoga and meditation. I think both tie in well together and give me the necessary balance of mental and physical stimulation my body has been screaming for. I’ve been attempting to do yoga every day and, on the most part, I have succeeded, with a few days off due to illness. I even found out the joy of practicing yoga outside, with soft grass beneath me and the blue sky above, when we camped at Portland for the weekend. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
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<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can’t sing the praises of yoga enough to anyone. It is helping me to become fitter and more aware of my body and it does wonders for your soul too. I’ve borrowed a DVD from the library and have classes with an instructor once a week too. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
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<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nabeela and Ryan are even enjoying it! Our little girl has learnt several ‘asanas’ (yoga positions) and she enjoys showing anyone them- in the middle of the library, on the pavement, the beach, the park- anywhere! So hopefully she will always have yoga to use and enjoy and it may even help her to stay as flexible as she is now- hey, she may still be able to bend over and kiss her knees when she’s Ryan’s age or older!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
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</div><div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Unfortunately last week I had my worst migraine attack ever. I was in agony for a day and a half. However, I get the impression that it was my body’s way of purging. It didn’t seem to matter how little stress I exerted on myself- I spent the whole day doing nothing but relaxing- it still didn’t abate until it was ready to. Maybe the stress of a new life in a new country, making new friends, embarking on a new career path, and the rest built up and needed out! Since then I have still had headaches, like I usually do, BUT I am managing to get rid of them myself, instead of waiting for it to disappear on its own. The yoga and meditation must be a helping hand in this and my new found awareness of listening to what my body is telling me- so stopping when it says to stop, exercising when I have excess energy or no energy(!) and just being aware of what I am doing. It feels good. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
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</div><div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nabeela is having a shift at the moment. A BIG one! Her behaviour has been somewhat erratic, contrary and extremely stubborn! Well more so than usual. Today she seems much happier and calmer so maybe we have finally weathered the storm. She has had a great need to have me and Ryan be with her, one on one, with no other distractions. So we have had a few days living in the library and reading a mountain of books together. I trusted that she would tell us what she needed and she has. We are lucky that she can communicate with us with words, to tell us exactly what she needs. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
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<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last week she had a ‘daddy and daughter’ evening while I went to meditation with a friend. When I got back (quite late) she was fast asleep snuggled next to Ryan. Second time she has ever got to sleep without a breastfeed. From her behaviour recently though, we feel she isn’t ready for that on a regular basis. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
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<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Onto Ryan- He is enjoying his new career-path and is like a sponge, absorbing so many new skills and facts each day he is at work. For his upcoming work experience placement, he has found a straw-bale house builder. It is back up north near to where we were before in Adelaide. We both have a really good feeling about it. My gut is telling me that this is going to open doors, and possibly change the course of our lives. I will keep you posted. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
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<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I feel like our little life together is evolving once again and it feels right and good and joyful.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
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</div>Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-85500874303743891442012-03-01T22:16:00.001-08:002012-03-23T22:17:47.567-07:00The Mount- home for now<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Mount Gambier in one word? Friendly. Now I’m not sure if it is necessarily more friendly than back home or many other towns for that matter, but that is my overriding feeling and I know it is shared with other new residents of the area. You walk into any shop and you are greeted with a genuine smile- as if they actually enjoy seeing a customer! I don’t get disapproving looks when carrying Nabeela in the sling, rather we get curious glances, people stopping to ask us where we got it or just a pleasant smile. Not once have we encountered road-rage! On leaving Christies beach our parting gift was an earful of expletives spewed from the brutal face of a manic driver. Here we can drive around in the relatively safe knowledge that this will not be a weekly occurrence! <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Mount is not all roses of course- I have heard of the ‘youth issues’ that plague the town (stupid driving, excessive drinking and drug taking) and the nasty history (aboriginal people were basically wiped out) but it is a quiet little town and so far it feels right to be here- at least at this moment in time. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I love how green it is. It is colder and slightly wetter than Adelaide and planners/council have had the foresight NOT to cut down every tree in the area. So we get to enjoy the shade when it is scorchingly hot and feel the energy of the plant and animal life that surrounds us. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nabeela saw her first (huge) possum the other day. I didn’t get to see it as she was having ‘daddy and daughter time’. It was at the Sunken Gardens where they are fed regularly by tourists on bread and other inappropriate foods- so it appears they have grown to gigantic proportions if the one Bee saw is anything to go by- they’ll be talking about the endemic obesity crisis (of possums) in town soon, I’m sure. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The parks, lakes and gardens around the town are lovely and I look forward to winter to enjoy long walks around them- summer is too hot to go for a long walk in the middle of the day. We’ve been told it’s too cold to go out in winter, but somehow I think if we managed to go to the woods in foot deep snow in the middle of an English winter, we’ll be just fine here! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The beach is about 20 minutes away by Brucey van (or possibly 15 minutes by car). You can enjoy spectacular sunsets of neon pink, bruised violet and fiery orange as you listen to the surf and pick seashells. Yoga is immensely grounding surrounded by these things, with the feel of the coarse sand between your toes. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListBulletCxSpLast" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our house is situated so close to everything- we can walk or bike into town and the big park at the end of the road and natural beauty surrounds us and is only minutes away. If we want to stay at home our huge back garden is the perfect place to spent time outdoors. Our veggie patch (or patches to be more precise) has a profusion of cucumbers and little else! But seeing the tiny seedlings poking up through the earth and watching Nabeela’s eyes sparkle with wonder at it I don’t really care if that’s all we eat for the next year! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-7237741564868765312012-02-16T16:45:00.000-08:002012-02-16T16:46:52.045-08:00Settled and Unsettled<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So now it is the 17<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> February and we are settled in our new town! We have a new home (huge but cheap), old friends to have fun with, new lush green surroundings to enjoy and a new job to learn (for Ryan)- all in all a stable base for the next few years (probably). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On a slightly more down-cast note I had a moment of tears last night. I am afraid my friends back in England don’t understand the extent of how much I miss them and appreciate them for who they are and how much they helped me grow as a person. I think about them each day and often feel sad for changing our friendships irreparably by leaving. No matter how hard I try to keep them close- I realise that being so far away and not actually seeing them face-to-face will change things. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So thank you to you all- S, K, E, I, D, N, V, and all the gorgeous kids- Thanks for supporting us through our hard times- the homes you offered us with open arms, the listening ears. Thanks for making me feel comfortable in your presence. Thanks for the conversation, the love, sharing great food (!) and the understanding. I love you all immensely! Never forget that. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0Mt Gambier SA, Australia-37.8294444 140.78277779999996-37.909501399999996 140.60453479999995 -37.7493874 140.96102079999997tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-66856414931488309222012-01-28T16:42:00.000-08:002012-02-16T16:43:32.843-08:00Another Home<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We set off for our new home town- Mount Gambier! It was a quick journey- only spanning days. We stopped in Meningie over-night. The caravan park was lovely- bursting with vegetation and wildlife. I was a little shocked by the difference between there and Christies. I don’t think I realised how dry and empty it was up there. The area is so built up they have razed to the ground all its natural beauty- except, of course, the beach. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some friends back in Adelaide had given us some pointers of where to go on our way to Mount Gambier, so we drove past the Coorong. Unfortunately they forgot to mention that to get there, along any stretch of its many miles, you must drive along dirt track! Brucey (as any owner of similar vehicle will understand) does not do well on dirt tracks. It is impossible to realise just how bad the vibrations and noise could be if you own a car! So after attempting a couple of miles along one track, and almost waking Beela up in the process, we turned back and carried along on the main road. (We will visit the Coorong another time I think!)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">After passing through Kingston and into Robe, we stayed in another caravan Park that night. It had a swimming pool, containing so much chlorine it was eye watering. Fortunately it also had a surfing beach nearby. We enjoyed a swim and a surf there, until I was attacked by giant horse flies and gave up before they bit Beela too! They hurt!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The day after we drove onto Millicent then into Mount Gambier. And guess where our first stop was..? The Library! My new favourite indoor place. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The next few days went in a blur of organisational chores, catching up with the Big family and freezing our bums off (who knew I had finally acclimatised to the hot Adelaide weather!)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-58067188064003238252012-01-12T02:37:00.001-08:002012-01-12T02:37:59.353-08:00Surprises<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span lang="EN-GB">The Big family came back! What a lovely surprise. We walked into the park and I looked over at the park to see </span><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-AU;">D walking along with two of the kids. “Is that D?” I exclaimed to Ryan and sure enough- it was!<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-AU;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It has been less than two months since they left and I had not realised how much Nabeela has grown up since then. Before she wouldn’t really interact with the kids and I often got the feeling she annoyed them rather a lot! But just in the past couple of days I have been struck by how much she is playing and talking with them. There is none of the grabbing for things and getting in the way- instead she asks for things she wants or bosses the other kids around (very funny considering she’s the littlest one there). Also seeing how much she understands now from other people’s points of view is amazing. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-AU;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our daughter has ceased to be a baby- she is a little girl! I am still too surprised to mourn the passing of her babyhood yet!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
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</div>Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-73594823366053103172011-12-18T03:51:00.000-08:002011-12-19T03:52:22.782-08:00Wee Wee Mammy!<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I think it’s time for a brief Nabeela update- she has advanced so much in her life in these last few weeks it’s taken my breath away! <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">After her two-year-milestone growth spurt- which lasted several days and involved feeding lots off me, eating little solid food, extra naps and a smidge of frustration (from her)- we now have a bigger baby, both in body and mind. It looks like it’s time for us to rummage through the charity shops for some new clothes for her. I’m disappointed about this actually; I was hoping to have made her several staples that would see her through for longer by now, but alas this hasn’t been possible. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Here’s a rundown of her most recent sayings.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Mammy and daddy go on an aeroplane to Bali’ (Nabeela seems to be implied in this)! I’m fascinated by the impression Bali obviously had on her. Nearly every day we hear about us going to Bali and she often talks about the hotel room, the swimming pool and, of course, the plane. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whenever she sees a plane she now points to it and exclaims ‘like Pee-pee’- who is the grandfather she has never met. I love that, although she has never met him, she is at least aware of him and what he does (he’s a pilot). When she does meet him (hopefully soon) she will be able to put a person to the name and enjoy the encounter more because of it. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Proving her inherent independence, Bee can often be heard telling us that she wants to ‘do it see-self’ (by herself in other words). When this is for something she isn’t able to do yet, I tell her I’ll help and she seems to accept this with no qualms. Her independence has also stretched to saying bye to us and walking off on her own, whilst insisting she wants to go by herself! Hence the method of saying I’ll help. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As regards to our Elimination Communication (EC) with Nabeela, we think we may be on the cusp of graduation. We realised the other day that we had not had a ‘miss’ for several days. Instead- now she is able to- she tells us every time she needs a ‘wee-wee’ or ‘poopey’. Since then we have had a few misses, but she is very aware of when she has gone in her pants or the floor and will proudly point it out to us. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For anyone unaware of what EC is here’s an explanation. By communicating with your baby it is possible (as many traditional societies know) to know when your child needs to go to the toilet. Very young babies will display various signs that they need to eliminate and it is up to the parent to figure out these signs and be aware of them. Then you can take them to the potty or toilet or grass. As they get older and become vocal, babies can begin to tell you when they need to go. By the time they are Nabeela’s age many will be able to toddle off alone to the potty or a bit of grass or tell you so you can take them. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It always makes me smile to see her face when she realises she needs a wee when we are at home. She’ll mention ‘wee-wee’ out loud, wander off to the grass, lift her clothes with an expression of concentration and watch as she does one. This is usually followed by telling me she did a ‘wee-wee on the gwass.’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-74483464960486440012011-12-17T03:49:00.000-08:002014-06-19T22:26:12.395-07:00The things people dump<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">With a cocoon of heavy clouds wrapped around us all day, the sky threatened stormy weather. When it did finally burst, thunder growled overhead, lightening lit the gloomy sky and stepping outside was akin to having a bucket thrown over you. So, where is this supposed uncomfortably hot weather? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Each time the thunder roared Nabeela looked at me with disconcerted eyes and asked, “Whas that?” in her cute accent. Eventually she was answering herself with the words, “A stooorm!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Amidst the rain, pelting down on Brucey van and obscuring our vision, I spotted an upturned pram in the middle of a path. Now, we have recently decided that it may be a good idea to get a pram. So Ryan grabbed it and we spent the next few minutes in the rain trying to figure out why someone had dumped it. It is in good condition, apart from the minor problem of being unable to fold it up. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nabeela is too heavy for me to carry her for long in my arms, so unless she stays in the sling (which she won’t unless she’s napping or feeding) or decides to walk rather than wander off in a different direction, I often find I don’t get very far when I’m doing ‘town stuff’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So for these occasions we thought about heading to a charity shop for a pram. But it turns out we didn’t need to- as we found one free!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Somehow it feels wrong to admit this. These years of having her close to my heart and able to share in the wonders of life, rather than being relegated to the side-lines (in a pram), leaves me feeling somewhat guilty for now having one! Nabeela doesn’t share these sentiments however- I think because we have never forced her into anything like a pram or high chair- she loves clambering in and considers it a fun toy to play on. So I’m going to have to get used to it!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-13468061954807959442011-12-05T00:13:00.000-08:002011-12-05T00:13:04.752-08:00A Special Day<div class="MsoNormal">I’m awed by the fact that it has been two years since I gave birth to our special little girl. All those months have sped by, filled with love and wonder. I am thankful everyday for her, but I made sure I made the extra effort to tell her just how much she has transformed me, today. She may not have understood much of it, but I know she understands those warm feelings and always she enjoys a good hug! </div><div class="MsoNormal">It was a do-whatever-Nabeela-wants-day today. We woke early and after singing Happy Birthday (where she joined in) we asked her what she wanted to do. She may only be two, but already she understands much of what we say and, anyway, we may have given her a few choices to help her out! We ate a cooked breakfast of home-made bread, veg and sausages (don’t fret they were vegan) and she scoffed the sausage, leaving the rest. Typical Nabeela style. </div><div class="MsoNormal">The rest of the day was spent doing our usual fun things, like going to the library, reading and eating. We even went to see an age-appropriate film (all about things we don’t believe in- Christmas and Santa, but it was that or nothing). She slept for most of it and spent the rest of it staring through her lop-sided 3D glasses and looking faintly bemused. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Unfortunately Nabeela has caught a bug of some sort (from a little girl who she adored and has just left the Park) and the rest of the day was spent rushing from potty to Mammy. She is currently asleep in my arms. The heat is emanating off her. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-18895511986757029262011-11-28T19:48:00.000-08:002011-12-02T19:50:05.325-08:00A Brief Immersion in Balinese Culture<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The past several days have been spent in a cloud of sticky humidity and scorching heat. In Bali! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We stayed in the tourist melting pot of Kuta. Humid and dirty, its narrow and un-planned streets are dense with stalls and shops brimming with tourist tat. Locals call out to you every few steps, “Yes, looking?”- “You want?” – “T-shirt, boss?” as you negotiate the randomly laid out terrain, ever remodelled and built- upon. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The traffic is never-ending. Taxis, millions of scooters, bicycles, cars, vans, all vie for the limited space on the roads (and, often off them too). Car horns interrupt the general hum of engines often and, as it first appears, indiscriminately. I soon realised that horns were not, as in India, being beeped without reason though. As one local driver put it, “It’s the easiest way to let others know you are there.” This makes sense; however, the one overlaying problem in this is that it is so busy it’s often rather difficulty to distinguish one horn from another!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We didn’t enjoy the over commercialised centre of Bali, but because we were stuck there, we found pleasure in little things instead. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The trip was enlightening for a few reasons. Firstly it provided us with the impetus to learn a second language. I have always wished my Malaysian/Thai heritage would have meant I was bi- or multi-lingual. Sadly this was not the case, as my Grandma never did pass on her mother-tongue to her children. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ryan learnt Indonesian in school and still remembers several key phrases and words, so what better language to learn? We have a head start, in that Ryan can speak a little and it is virtually indistinguishable from Malaysian, apart from the odd word or phrase, so one day I may be able to speak with my family in Malaysia. Nabeela has taken to the language like a fish to water (she can count to 5 already and was busy shouting ‘terimah kasih- thank you and several greetings to locals throughout our stay). </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Speaking of fish, we also spent a huge amount of time in the water. It was so sticky hot that I needed to be wet most of the time, just to keep from melting into a puddle of mush. Nabeela’s confidence in the water increased drastically by the end of the holiday and she is beginning to go through the motions of paddling and actively kicking her legs to travel through the water. Our little fish adored the cool waters of the hotel pool. On our last day in Bali we rustled up the extortionate fee to enter a huge outdoor water park, for Bee’s pleasure. Her excited giggles and beaming smiles made up for the overblown tourist prices. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">What made the holiday were the local Balinese. Everywhere we went we were greeted with huge grins and a barrage of curious, but completely innocent questions, about Nabeela and our family. They were awed by our little toddler. Her name is- according to the locals- an Indonesian name, meaning something along the lines of Celebration (how pertinent). This coupled with their love of children and strong family values meant we were made to feel so special and rich for what we have: a beautiful daughter and a happy marriage. So far removed from the typical westerner’s views of family- where families with kids are made to feel excluded from ‘normal’ activities or any hint of fun. The Balinese embrace children (figuratively and literally!) and find their behaviours exactly what they are: normal! No being made to feel uncomfortable if your child breaks something by accident or widdles on the floor. As one man succinctly said, “That OK, children do things like that.” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">At all the restaurants where we enjoyed Balinese cuisine, Beela was handed around amongst the staff, cuddled, kissed, prodded (gently) and photographed. She loved being swept away to be the centre of peoples’ attentions and lavish hugs and smiles. Any children that she met she instantly liked, including one little local boy (about six months older than she) who she shared a coy cuddle with, and a kiss!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">After being made to feel so welcome, we barely needed to tour the island. Soaking up the way of life of this country was enough for us, particularly on our limited time frame. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We did tour around a little, however. Taxis are very cheap and so we found that flagging one down (usually within seconds of looking) and travelling on the meter was the most comfy, if not the most efficient, way of getting anywhere. Efficiency isn’t really expected in such bustling, narrow-laned chaos. To walk the same distance may take you an equal length of time, however the sun beating you to a sticky glop is usually enough to force a retreat into a cool taxi. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We briefly visited Nusa Dua- a neat tourist resort of little interest to people who like to get away from the familiarities of their home country, but with a calm swimming beach to cool down from the bubbling heat outside. We sat on reserved-for-hotel-guests-only loungers, eating street stall-bought nasi goreng (fried rice) and fresh whole mangoes, dripping sweet nectar over the plastic armchair and washing the stickiness away in the ocean. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On another day we visited Ullu Watu Wat, a temple south of Kuta, perched high up, overlooking the Indian Ocean from the cliff top. There, hugging the cliff-top, we took in rich green views peppered with orange and red blossoms. We looked down on the might of the sea as it crashed continuously against the slowly eroding cliff face, with the temple stood watch above: a silent sentinel and shrine to the Balinese own branch of Hinduism. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">What we enjoyed most from our multitude of taxi drives was the ability to sit back and watch the country speed by and listen to the drivers interesting conversations. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">One time, as Nabeela perched sleeping on my own knee I watched as a family sped past on their scooter. A baby of around Beela’s age sandwiched and also asleep, between mother and father was oblivious to the heat, fumes and clamour around her. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An old man, reminding me so much of my own father (who of course could never be described as an old man!) grumbled on and on about his life. He spoke of his immersion in the tourist market and of the politics that renders him unable to leave. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As he talked I noticed his black hair, sprinkled with white, poking out from under his baseball cap, crinkled eyes portraying the gulf between himself and his grown-up children, the resigned tilt of his head as he told of the necessity of tourism, the curled half-smile as he mentioned the corruption permeating the country. “So many scooters and many accident!” He answered when we asked about the traffic problems, “People don’t even wear helmets.” Though they are supposed to, most tourists get away with a cursory warning and the underhand loss of ten dollars. Corruption in practice. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Another joy in Bali was the food. This may not be much of a surprise to anyone who knows us. For us life does revolve around eating, after all! We began the holiday eating in tourist restaurants, which were fine and still reasonably cheap. But quickly we noticed the small roadside stalls and the unobtrusive cafe’s which locals frequented. We began eating in these instead. Much cheaper than tourist places, they had an expectant and friendly feel to them. The staff often watched us as we tucked into the gloriously rich nasi goreng, fluffy plain white rice, crisp tempeh, fried tofu, sautéed greens and salty garlic sauce- I think they were pleased we had chosen them instead of the typical tourist hang- outs and were impressed by our wish to eat true local cuisine. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We all gorged ourselves on fruit. The juices are sensational. We enjoyed papaya, mango, pineapple and creamy thick avocado on plenty of occasions. My IBS didn’t bother me once and I have put it down to eating mainly cooked food. The amount of fruit we ate should have had me doubled over in bloated belly agony, but I was fine. So I may replicate this diet back home and go back to cooking most of my food. I love the idea of a highly raw diet, but after persevering for several months, my bowels are not allowing me to enjoy it or benefit from it. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Being vegan was no problem in most places, particularly when eating at a local place. We only encountered problems with egg, as it seems to be added to everything, and possibly fish. I am quite sure we unsuspectingly ate these two items on a few occasions, much to our disappointment. There is little to be done though, but move on from it. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I left as an Australian tourist and came back as a fully-fledged Permanent Resident! During our stay in Bali I checked my emails, just to make sure my visa was coming along ok and received the exciting news that my CO had granted me a P100 visa. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Initially my heart sank, as I thought it was only the temporary version and I would have a two year ‘trial’ period before being able to apply for the permanent visa. I was, happily, wrong and he had actually granted me permanent residency! The relief washed over me and (once back in the hotel room, away from curious eyes) I danced my ‘I’m-a-permanent-resident’ jig to Ryan and Nabeela’s raised eye-brows. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Entry back into Australia was somewhat of an anti-climax. My eagerness to get back to my new home was stifled when my expectations were squashed. I don’t quite know what I was expecting- a fan-fare complete with brass band and dancing? That would have been nice! If not that, then at least the customs official could have welcomed me to my new home. Instead she didn’t even mention it, only giving me congratulations when Ryan pointed it out. I do have a stamp in my passport commemorating the momentous occasion, however. That will have to do!</span></div>Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-47014741513259837492011-11-23T02:58:00.000-08:002011-11-23T03:24:04.372-08:00A Belated Introducton<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to the blog. I hope my email ‘fans’ move over to this way of connecting with us from now on. I hope it will be easier all around.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Just a little background embellishment for people who haven’t read my past entries yet. Ever since moving back to the UK with Ozzie husband Ryan in tow we had talked of leaving again in the future- and hopefully <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">before</i> we got sick of it!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">During our life in the UK we rented a couple houses (so as not to tie us there too much), had our daughter Nabeela/Bee/Beela (or various other connotations) and made some life-long friends. And I won’t forget the special time we had seeing our niece growing up from a tiny dot into a gorgeous little girl. Ryan also managed to change career direction completely and hopes to use these skills to get a flexible job back in Oz. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So after 4 years in the UK we were thoroughly sick of the weather and our prospects over there. We made a decision to knock down our previous barriers and just get moving. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Actually it may have been that I made the decision, whilst Ryan stalled for time. I distinctly remember saying to him, ‘I don’t care what barriers you throw at this, I am <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">putting my foot down</i> and we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i> going!’ </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whatever I said, it gained the desired outcome and we quickly began arranging the complex and money-draining process of visas, citizenship and dual passports for Bee. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Along with this we had to rid our lives of most material possessions, down to a skeleton of essentials. But most heart-wrenching of all were the goodbyes to our beloved friends and family, including the family dog, Sam, who had been a constant thread in all our lives since we first met. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Armed with only the bags we could carry (or couldn’t carry as we later found) we left, teary eyed and somewhat melancholy, despite the huge adventure that awaited us. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Truthfully it all seemed like a huge anti-climax at first. I missed my family and friends so much that there were moments when, if someone had given me a return ticket back, I would have snatched it out of their hands and been off on the next flight. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">After a good month and with familiarity and routine setting in, I only have these days occasionally and the raw pain is somewhat numbed by knowing that we are already having a better life here and that’s after less than two months. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Already we have made friends of a like-minded persuasion with kids; enjoyed the beach life fully, immersing ourselves in the pleasures of the sea; begun living the simple life we always strive for; and done things that I always wished to do, but didn’t (like getting dreads and enjoying a festival). </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So our path to simplicity, freedom of our own making and natural living and family values is being trodden and we are all glowing within from it!</span></div>Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-68563000719099729742011-11-18T02:26:00.000-08:002011-11-23T02:27:52.258-08:00Bitter Sweet<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">From this day onwards sugar will not pass my lips! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">At least not much sugar will. I have tried all the different intolerance diets for my IBS symptoms and nothing so far has eased my bloated belly or (sorry to say) excess wind. I’ve given up wheat, gluten, dairy (which I now don’t eat for ethical and environmental reasons), soy and all of the permutations that go with this. Nothing has changed things!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The only thing I have yet to cut out is sugar (or more specifically fructose). Probably for the very reason I should have stopped eating it: I love it and crave it! Anyone who knows me (even in a cursory way) knows I love sweet things and I have managed to push the thought of having to stop eating it from my mind for too many months now. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Finally I am ready to grow up and move on. So I am attempting to limit sugar to two serves of fresh fruit a day and that is pretty much it. No more dried fruit, raw fruity desserts, chocolate (oh, my!) or added honey/agave/maple. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hopefully when this works (or should I say if?), I will be able to introduce it back into my diet slowly. But never in the amounts I’ve been known to eat it in!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sticking with the diet changes yarn- we have initiated the last step towards veganism- we are not buying eggs anymore. Not that we are complete vegans- we’re still going to wear wool (second-hand or organic) and use bee products. Unusually it was Ryan who instigated the removal of eggs from our diet, after coming across various bits of information relating to the ethics of eating eggs and the environmental aspects. </span></div>Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-77626017064685000742011-11-17T20:11:00.000-08:002011-11-21T20:12:29.924-08:00The Visa Arrives!<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Today we received the news we have wanted since we arrived...my visa is in the process of being granted! The only thing we need to do now is leave Australia. For some reason, to grant the visa you must be out of the country. On the plus side though, you can go to any country you wish- so we’re going to Bali!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Here it is in all its (edited) glory...</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Dear Mrs M,</span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">I refer to your current migrant visa application.</span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">The processing of your application has reached the stage where I am in a position to grant your visa. If your application is granted, you will be required to make an initial entry to Australia before 15 July 2012. This “initial entry date” is linked to the expiry of your health and character checks and cannot be altered or extended after visa grant.</span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">However, one of the criteria for the grant of this subclass of visa is that you must be <u>outside Australia at the time of grant of visa</u>. </span></b><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Departmental records show that you are currently in Australia. Therefore, you will need to leave Australia before I can grant your visa. </span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Please advise me by email or by facsimile of your intended date of departure from Australia, flight number and country of destination. It is important that you receive confirmation from me that I have received this information before you travel. If you do not receive confirmation from me, there may have been a problem with the email transmission and you should try to contact me again. </span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"> </span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">In order to ensure that your travel plans have not changed, could you also please <u>reconfirm</u> your travel details - by email or facsimile - <u>the day before you depart Australia</u>. </span></b><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"> </span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">It is important that you provide this office with the requested information within 28 days of the date of this letter. If you do not respond within the given time frame, a decision on your application will be made based on the information contained on your file at that time.</span></b><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 5.25pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Yours sincerely </span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Case Officer</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">After reading this exciting news, Nabeela perched on my knee looking up at me, I began to screech happily, much to Nabeela’s bemusement. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sadly the next thing I read (on facebook) was the tragic news of my ex-teacher, Mike’s death. I will mention this as my way of thanking him for being a wonderful and interesting teacher and for all the long chats we had after lessons. Thanks Mike for injecting a small amount of your enthusiasm of photography into me and for your kindness.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So with this mixture of wonderful and tragic news I rushed over to Ryan, simultaneously crying and smiling. He was suitably confounded.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Later in the day we stopped in at the travel agents to enquire about the price of a holiday to Bali. We left the shop a couple of grand lighter in the wallet (or more specifically on the credit card) and with wide grins spread across our faces. We’re going to Bali in ten days! </span></div>Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-40282771598429918272011-11-16T20:10:00.000-08:002011-11-21T20:10:51.227-08:00Dreadlocks<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The dreadlocks are forming...slowly! It has been nearly a week since D demonstrated the non-chemical laden technique to Ryan, and he began. So far he has completed all but 4 or 5. I have a lot of hair and probably about 50 individual dreads! But after the initial shock- from both the pain to my poor raw scalp and from finding sleep quite uncomfortable with these bulky strands of hair digging in all over, I now love them! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They are settling in nicely now, no more feeling uncomfortable at night and I love that my once wavy hair has been transformed into a frizzy mass of thick strands of rope, sticking out all over- it keeps it away from my neck (which used to cause my considerable aggravation) and I like the way they look!</span></div>Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-21612222445684389902011-11-08T20:02:00.000-08:002011-11-21T20:03:23.836-08:00Lessons in Joy<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We have spent the past several days doing little of writable interest, but having lots of fun all the same. We have spent much of our time with the Big Family (as I will re-name them). Because the days have been so hot we have spent much of our time on the beach during the cooler parts of the day or holed up in the big camp kitchen talking about our travels and way of life, comparing notes on Australia and the way we do things or learning new skills. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have finally learned how to crochet. So I will be busy honing this skill over the months and trying to make bits and pieces for presents. Ryan and I have both learnt how to bake bread. It is something I have always been meaning to do, yet for some reason the idea has never stuck. But now I have seen how easy and cheap it really is (ignoring all those time-consuming, fancy recipes and bread-makers) we will begin at once. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ryan and I have learnt how to form dread-locks and I am eager to begin them on my hair. It is something I have been considering for quite some time, on and off over the years. Yet I have never gone ahead with it! So we now have the kit and, despite the internal groans I can hear from my family, next time I speak to them I will have a ‘new’ head of hair (hopefully)!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nabeela has matured so much in the past week. Being able to spend time with un-schooled children of such a diverse range of ages (from nearly three to eight) she has learnt much about an assortment of things. She has watched enthralled as the youngest has been dragged along the beach on a body board, skimming a thin skin of water and squealing with delight, before rolling away into the foam. She has delighted in playing in the park and learning how to successfully climb up the slide and slither back down it. She is slowly learning about crafts and how you tend not to eat everything you see, but instead make things with them (this is an ongoing process and much of the time she still insists on eating all bits of paper or cardboard she gets her hands on). She is assimilating the skills needed for riding a bike and sometime attempts to sit in the saddle. She is stringing together much more sophisticated sentences now and volunteers information more freely than previously. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am beginning to see the delights in having a tribe of children rather than just a couple! </span></div>Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7824191872450554013.post-43257084455919752832011-11-03T19:59:00.000-07:002011-11-21T20:01:24.378-08:00Salt-Encrusted and Eager<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Today I went to the cinema...with Nabeela! Walking up to the cinemas, babe quietly sitting in the sling, I stopped off at the health food shop to pick up some ‘healthy’ treats. I made my way into the cinema, paid for my parent and toddler ticket and realised that I may actually get to watch the film uninterrupted, because Nabeela had fallen to sleep! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I luxuriated in the time I had to watch a meaningless film, eat sweet things and relax. This lasted for about half the film before Beela woke up in a sunny mood. I came prepared with plenty of toys. She wandered the isles clinging happily to her wooden spoon and cup whilst I watched the film (and her out of the corner of my eye). Eventually she came and sat beside me and became enthralled by the big screen begging to be watched. I was slightly disconcerted as the film was not really child friendly, with giant guns glinting and bullets flying all over. I kept imagining Nabeela turning to me, arm raised, shouting ‘bang, bang’! Luckily all of the violence seemed to pass over her head and only the things that she could comprehend made any dent. So she kept turning to me saying various phrases like ‘man running fast’ or ‘big cars’. It was exciting to be able to see a grown-up film with my daughter playing beside me!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Once the film was over and Ryan had finished his cleaning we met up and headed to the library to peruse the shelves and do some research. Ryan’s research was on job and training opportunities and mine was in a similar vein, but surrounded my writing ambitions. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Writers and Artists Yearbook is a little gem for information and general motivation. Just flicking through to read short sections was enough for me to realise how helpful it will be for my writing prospects. The first article I read was by my (newly realised) favourite author, Terry Pratchett where he made me smile as he usually does! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I slowly accumulated a tottering pile of books and magazines to take home- some for research purposes, others to further my reading and more just for fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Later we found that we hadn’t actually taken them with us! Although I’d checked them out, Ryan hadn’t realised I had left them in a pile for him to pick up (I was carrying the heavy toddler) and just walked off leaving my precious collection behind! He is still paying for this error! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Outside the confines of four dingy walls, the day felt calm and the sun shone merrily on all, although it didn’t have that usual Aussie kick to it. To expel some energy and reconnect with ourselves and the earth we headed straight for the sea. I was determined to do a little swimming and so, bracing myself for the cold waters, I ran in and out several times to ease my body into it and finally submerged my entire body. This method seemed to work well- running in up to leg height, then running out. Then running in a little deeper and running back out, until I finally ran back in to be completely submerged. Even if it hadn’t worked, Nabeela found my strange antics highly amusing!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Her laughter and excitement didn’t end there however. She thoroughly enjoyed her sea swimming education. She learnt about how the ocean movements feel on her body as the waves roll in. I modelled the up and down movement whilst she was in my arms and by the end she was calling out ‘up and down’ as she rolled with the waves. She also began kicking her legs and flailing her arms in a jerky and uncoordinated imitation of doggy paddle. Completely unfazed by all of these new feelings and movements, she even had her face splashed several times and still came out grinning. If Ryan is serious about wanting a little ‘surfer chick’ for a daughter I have no doubts he will get his wish!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Back at the caravan park, salt encrusted and on the chilly side, we got into conversation with a newly arrived family of seven. Both parents and their five children seem on first impressions like a lovely family: relaxed, calm and with a very similar lifestyle and views to us. I was so excited about meeting some potential friends that I was reluctant to leave to shower away the salt for fear of missing out or FOMO as I have abbreviated it to! I did (shower) and didn’t (miss out)..! But we will certainly be catching up with them again soon. </span></div>Keeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17198753550623042939noreply@blogger.com0