A journey of mother and child

Without going into too much detail, the relationship between me and my daughter and breastfeeding  has become quite confused, strained and emotional, I wrote this a while ago to reflect my personal feelings on this relationship, which is slowly, very slowly morphing into something else. It is about how I feel about breastfeeding a child, and the journey I am going through that has led me here, with her.

Breastfeeding is comfort.
Babies,
children
cannot gain comfort from something inert,
plastic.
Your body,
breast,
beating heart
is the physical reality of
your comfort and love.
Your child goes to this when they need it.
If they are fearful,
angry,
sad,
confused -
It is their safe place.

Breastfeeding is nourishment.
It is the food they were meant to consume.
Taken in the way they were meant to consume it -
from a warm, soft breast,
alive.
Nothing can compare.
Nothing else can change day to day,
hour by hour,
minute by minute.
Perfect for that one child –
Because each one is different,
needs different things,
grows different,
lives different,
loves different.

Breastfeeding is energy,
from its nourishment,
physical or mental.

Breastfeeding is growth,
As your milk provides
your child grows -
in body
in mind
in spirit.
So too do
you.
This journey,
shared with your child.
You grow as they do,
maybe not physically,
but in mind,
in spirit.

Breastfeeding is many things,
a combination
of the physical and soulful.
Intertwined,
impossible to tear apart.
Hard to let go of.
For child
For you.
When it ends,
this relationship
means growth,
a new chapter
in your relationship
with your child.
A closed door
leading to a new door.
Opening with light and love.
A new way of interacting,
more mature
less needful,
physically,
on both sides.

Open
ready to let others in.
To expand that circle of love
which for so long only included two people
mother and child.
Over the years it has expanded
allowed others in to feel the light shining from both of you,
but once this new door opens
it is finally ready to let others in
forever.

No longer needing only mothers love and comfort
to soothe.
Accepting of others love also.
Memories are looked back on with fondness,
a quiet ache in your chest -
remembering the cocoon
you created with your child.
But ready now to open yourself again,
with your child at your side,
rather than in your arms.
Ready to open and accept
everyone!